Hi Lindsey, 

It was a no-brainer for me to check out your rough draft — psychology (and your title) has always felt like second nature to me, something I think about daily and have for as long as I can remember.

Your paper is outstanding. I was especially drawn to “The Gratitude Visit” you mentioned — it inspired me so much that I genuinely want to try it myself with one of my closest friends. I can only imagine the powerful effect it could have on both of us. Your paper really left an impact, and I’m excited to read more of your future work, especially on topics related to your career passion. 

As for Carl Jung — I’ve been studying him recently and thought of something you might appreciate. Since you’re a TED Talk listener, I wanted to share a podcast I found really engaging on personality tests (link below). I thought it was such a fun coincidence that you mentioned Jung right after I listened to it!

 In terms of feedback, I don’t have much to critique — just the usual things like making sure your citations are filled in and adding your final page count. I did the same thing with mine, using “cite cite cite” all over the place in the draft phase — so I totally get it, ha! 

All in all, well done. Your paper is thoughtful, well-organized, and touches on everything it should. Honestly, it’s motivated me to sit down and write a gratitude letter to read to my friend. That kind of inspiration speaks volumes about the strength of your work. 

Keep it up — I’m looking forward to seeing what you write next! 

Teresa

Editor’s Name: Lindsey Strother

Writer’s Name: Gisselle Santos

When initially reading the essay the first time, I felt more interested in the topic but would’ve liked to have more detail about the article. The start of the essay captured my attention immediately on the subject topic, but I did not know what article was referenced until further down in the first paragraph. It is my recommendation to place the title of the article in the title of the essay, possibly as a subtext to the current title or, name the article at the beginning of your essay paper. You did a great job describing the topic, and the rhetorical methods that were used in your article, in your thesis paragraph. You checked all the boxes for the content for your thesis. The use of statistics is a great addition to your essay. Since it is required to have 2 additional sources, you should use the source where you found the Deloitte Global study as one of your sources. Don’t forget to cite and reference.

          The content material in your essay paper clearly relates to your thesis and identifies the rhetorical arguments used. Since you need a third reference, you could research the subject of banning phones in schools and the reasoning as it does relate to anxiety and social interaction. Rice University’s business webpage produced a great article with more information. I will include the link in case you would like to check it out. I believe the essay is well organized and interpreted very well.

          The conclusion is well written and clear on recapturing the use of the rhetorical argument methods. I think it might benefit you to detail the topic a bit more in your conclusion. This will help with a clear ending and help to add in your overall page count. I am unsure of the format that is associated with your degree plan, but you may need to add a title page if you are psychology based. Overall, you’ve chosen a great topic and organized your paper very well. I look forward to reading your final paper. Good job.